Wednesday, May 19, 2021

Memories that will never fade, Kushe Aushi

[Note: This is the englsih version of Kush Aushi, Click to read in Nepali ] 
  The tide inside the mind rises. Somehow this mind that has been held is not obeying, no, it is not obeying. The sweetness of that voice is still echoing in these ears like the sound echoing in the hills. It feels as if the same voice is calling to me. I look around for a moment, tremble, look around, look for that face, no, I can't find it anywhere, and every page that says, "If you search, you'll find a god." I like to tear every sheet of writing, I want to break the printing machine and I want to spill the ink. Yes, when you lose a loved one, your mind doesn't believe it, even if you know you won't find it, you are looking for it, every day, every moment there is hope. For a month, my eyes water, and with one hand, I wipe my eyes. When the sky shines, the body of a person gets wet, but when the eyes shine, the whole mind is wet. The wet head is covered in an instant, but the wet mind is not covered. No matter how hard I tried, it was getting cold somewhere. The same cold is always hurting my heart, reminding me. Today I am reaching that past. That moment, where I was happiest, it was warm love, it was a feeling of belonging and it was a never ending love. Yeah Al that sounds pretty crap to me, Looks like Al that sounds crap to me, Looks like Al that sounds crap to me, Looks like Al that sounds crap to me, Looks like Al that sounds crap to me. With that warmth, I never felt lonely, nor did I miss anything. I just had to think that all my desires would be fulfilled like magic. No, I can't describe that love, no matter how depressing the moment, it made me happy even if it was just a shadow. But it has been 13 years since I left her, there is not a single day in these past years when I have fallen in love with her. Still, I am holding my mind and I am compelled to spend the rest of my life with the feeling of being together. Even though I know that I will not return, there is always a faint hope in my mind that when I hear "Son I have come" and I can get rid of all the flow of my heart.

No comments:

Post a Comment